Laßt uns trinken: A collection of Oneshots
by BandgeekLaur
Summary: Inside jokes, Band crazing, and Germany.  A Rammstein Fanfic
1. Script form: Cooking

Small information pertaining to the one-shots:  
>- Rammstein formed in 1994.<br>-This takes place during the time of Sehnsucht and Live Aus berlin. Therefore late 96 to 2000.  
>-Most of the fanfic (generally 95 percent) is just for fun, will be full of inside jokes, and will also be in script form.<p>

-There are going to be many time-skips. So don't be surprised if they hop from a island to a concert in less than 1 chapter.

-Each "part (chapter)" will have a mini theme.

**Part 1** : Cooking

[There is a sound of streaming water outside of the bedroom window of the large studio Hotel settled by the Mediterranean and exotic sea of Malta. At first, everything is calm and collected and seems rather comfortable until of course, someone pulls open the blinds]

**Lauren**: [while buried in a mound of sheets and comforters] what the hell...? [groggily rolls over and presses forehead against bare flesh] Um- [opens eyes] Haleigh?  
><strong>Richard<strong>: mmmmm...[rolls over on top of Lauren, and she yelps in surprise. His eyes snap open] -vat time is it?  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: [ somewhere on the same bed] I feel like I've been stabbed.  
><strong>Paul<strong>: Agreed.  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: Wait...what...how many people are sharing this bed?  
><strong>Flake<strong>: I'm here.  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: [does a full and panicked body roll off the side of the bed, which therefore has Richards body dangling off the side.] AHG!

**Paul**: [chuckles and face surfaces somewhere beneath Haleighs feet] This is rather interesting.  
><strong>Flake:<strong> Oh gott! Why did she fall?  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: You are shit-scary to her , you know that? [feels Paul tickling her feet and she yells stop]  
><strong>Flake:<strong> [confused] -vat? Ich verstehe nicht...  
><strong>Christoph<strong>: ...Rise and shine ? [is seen by the window through groggy vision]

[Lauren is slowly rising from the floor in what appears to be Reesh's button-down and Pauls swim trunks. Her hair is a black and mangled mess on top of her head as well as down her back. Through groggy/ sleep-deprived vision she assesses the situation. Somehow last night at some time, Lauren and Haleigh decided to go to bed?  
>And Paul Landers, Richard Kruspe, and "Flake" Lorenz managed to snake their way also into this same bed. She saw this as harmless however, knowing well that they are all good and old friends. But how the fuck did she end up wearing, Pauls trunks and Reesh's shirt?]<p>

**Christoph**: [is looking at wrist watch] It is...12:45 PM?

**Haleigh**: Are you shitting me?  
><strong>Paul<strong>: ...oh.  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: ...What happened last night?  
><strong>Christoph<strong>: You all got drunk .  
><strong>Haleigh:<strong> Makes sense.

[The sound of someone cracking their back and various other limbs causes Haleigh to wrinkle her nose in disgust. A loud _THWUMP!_ is then heard as Richard rolls off the bed.]

**Till:** [somewhere in the distance, but most likely in the kitchen.] Ich Brauche essen!  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: What exactly does that freaking mean? [throws off blankets which pile on top of Paul, and crawls out of bed half-naked]  
><strong>Christoph<strong>: Till is hungry. He insisted that 'the women' provide a meal, and at first decided to wait. But you see his patience is fraying-  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: [stretches] Oh yeah! Sure. No problem...just uhhh leave it to me and Laur here, to cook.  
>[Lauren gives Haleigh a "Death glare" while walking to the bathroom to grab her hairbrush. Christoph merely smirks]<p>

**Christoph**: If you say so. I mean, we could just go and pick up something. Malta has great food. It's just that the kitchen is stuffed with-  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: [picks up black sundress from floor and pulls it on.] Oh no, no, no! We'll do the cooking. You guys just go out and chill by the pool or something. You guys have a busy day in the studio ahead. We'll cook up something great! [eyes appear to be glittering]  
><strong>Christoph<strong>: [mesmerized] oh, alright.

_20 minutes later_.

[Lauren peers through the blinds to see all the guys lounging by the pool and watches as Paul and than Ollie do a cannon ball off the diving board. She then turns to face her best friend , her eyes in slits]  
><strong>Lauren:<strong> I hate you.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: I know.  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: No, like...this is probably the most I've ever hated you.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: ...yeah. [nervous smile]  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: I'm am greatly enraged.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: understood.  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: ... YOU CAN'T EVEN COOK.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>:...I know. [is tying on a cooking apron].  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: Hell, I can barely cook! I can't even toast bread right!  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: I know...I know... [guilty expression]  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: and you friggin ...hypnotized Schneider! You creep! Your big ol` creepy blue eyes dazzled the shit out of him and now were here to burn down the kitchen. AWESOME.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: [super panicked voice] I KNOW! Oh god...  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: ...[it finally clicks. Her eyes go wide] YOU ARE COOKING FOR TILL. [jaw drops]  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: [begins her rant on how supposedly this information is not true]...No...I'm just being friendly...cause todays going to be a super busy day and they're our friends and it was so nice of them to invite us on this trip to begin with and we've pretty much got nothing better to do...and..- OH MY GOD YES IT'S FOR TILL DON'T JUDGE ME.

**Lauren**:...you fiend. [rubs temples with tips of fingers] and fuh- I can finally feel that hangover coming on.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: [in a high pitch and panicked voice] What the hell are we going to do?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: Hey, hey, hey you put us into this mess. You and your lust for [dramatic turn of head] Till Lindemann.

**Haleigh**: Not funny Laur. I'm really freaking out here. [while panicked; is going through drawers and cabinets trying to find things to properly cook with. Haleigh pulls out an odd utensil and scrutinizes it] What the hell is this? A murder weapon?  
>[Lauren peers through the window again and notices Richard flipping through a magazine on a fold-out chair near the window. Its almost as if there is a light bulb blinking above her head at this point. She silently raps her knuckles against the glass hoping to only get Richards attention, and to her luck he looks up from his reading and spots her peering through the blinds]<p>

**Haleigh**: What are you doing?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: improvising. [Lauren beckons Richard inside and presses her index finger to her lips while winking at him. He drops his magazine and nods to me even though its suspicious. He comes through the sliding door]

**Richard**: Whats going on?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: okay, so we both can't cook.  
><strong>Richard<strong>: ...So you need my help?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: Yes, your cooking guru skills will be greatly appreciated. But, we can't have you telling the guys you helped us.

**Richard**: [confused] umm...why not? [hands on hips] you aren't trying to be a couple of show-offs are you?  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: Laur... Don't.  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: Haleigh totally wants to bone Till. So we need to make her look good. Ca-peesh?  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: FUUUUUUU- [slaps hands on face in embarassment]

**Richard**: [is grinning ear-to-ear in amusement at Haleigh for a moment and then switches his attention back to Lauren to give her a serious nod] Alright, sounds like an important mission. You may have my services. [childish salute]  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: [smiles] Alright! Reeeeesh, thank you soooo much!

**Richard**: No problem. Now go find the eggs and spices and we will whip up something big.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: uhghg...[peers through fingers; her face bright red] But what if the guys are wondering where he is?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: Half of them are asleep! So we got to make this fast!

_25 minutes later._

[The kitchen smells absolutely amazing and the table is being set up with egg burritos stuffed with spices and vegetables, a side of hispanic rice, and a whole bunch of sausage and bacon]  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: Oh my god. This is amazing.  
><strong>Richard<strong>: [staring at his work proudly] isn't it?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: This really is amazing. Anyways , from this point on...[points at Haleigh] she made this meal. All on her own.

**Richard**: [nods] alright. By the way did I ever tell you , you look great in my shirt?  
><strong>Lauren<strong>: ...uhg...how did I even end up wearing it?  
><strong>Richard<strong>: No idea.  
><strong>Haleigh<strong>: Enough! Out, out! Shoo! I need to put my game face on!  
>[Both Richard and Lauren start to laugh loudly as they exit the kitchen]<br>**Lauren**: Yooooo hooooo. Breakfast is ready! Tis incredible!


	2. Script form: Common Day In The WorkPlace

**Part 2**: A common day in the workplace

_One evening in the recording studio_

**Lauren**: Hey Till sounds amazing.

**Haleigh**: Sure does.

**Lauren**: Oh god, stop drooling. It's really disturbing.

**Haleigh**: [glares] Oh, whatever.

**Lauren**: [While eating from a bag of ruffles] ...-mmm...so, when are you going to make your move?

**Haleigh**: [looks away and mutters something incoherent under her breath]

**Lauren**: Hm?

**Haleigh**: I don't know.

**Lauren**: uhg, sure.

**Haleigh**: [whispers] Just keep it down. Paul, Flake, and Ollie are like...right over there. [points to the far left of the room]

**Lauren**: [winks] Can do.

**Haleigh**: I still hate you for telling Reesh. A real bitch move, by the way.

**Lauren**: Yeah, yeah. [rolls up the ruffle bag]

_Richard and Christoph enter the recording studio with some beers in hand. Christoph hands Lauren and Haleigh a beer and than grabs the extra from Richards hand. Christoph smiles at the girls before pulling out a fold-out chair for himself on Haleighs right side._

**Till**: [almost growling into the mic] _Er liebt die von der Fisch gibt er ihr h utet sich vor leerem alte Haut f llt auf den Boden._

**Richard**: He sounds excellent. [takes a seat between Lauren and Haleigh in one of the fold-out chairs and then takes a swig from his beer]

**Lauren**: Well of course he does.

**Richard**: [turns to Haleigh] So when are you going to make a move?

**Lauren**: [while in mid-gulp of her own beer,she nearly chokes on the liquid] Ahhhhaha!

**Haleigh**: Shhhhh, I don't want everyone to hear! [smacks Richards shoulder spastically]

**Richard**: Oh sorry. [takes another drink from his beer, but this time with an obvious grin on his mouth]

**Lauren**: Oh, god...knee slapper [proceeds to do just that]

**Till**: _Er liebt die von Fisch frisst sich zum Kiemen blutig noch vom den roten gro en Augen._

**Christoph**: Oh gott are those chips?

**Lauren**: Yeah [re-opens the bag] want some?

**Christoph**: _Ja_ I want some!

**Richard**: When are you going to ask Till on a date?

**Haleigh**: are you completely insane? I can't do that!

**Richard**: Warum not?

**Haleigh**: [turning bright red] ...ahhhh. This is so embarassing.

**Christoph**: Mmm...are these Sourcream and onion?

**Lauren**: yeah! Aren't they fantastic ?

**Christoph**: [mid-munch] Ja! I rarely get these.

**Lauren**: I was going to put them away because I've basically had like...two bags of these things!

**Christoph**: [while still munching] -Vant some?

**Lauren**: [stares thoughtfully] hmmmm...FINE. [grabs a handful] fuck being skinny.

**Richard**: You have known Till for a couple of years now, Hal.

**Haleigh**: Yeah I know, Reesh.

**Richard**: And you are his type.

**Haleigh**: [smiles]...really?

**Richard**: Ja, blonde with big [holds hands out far from his chest] these.

**Haleigh**: [starts laughing] I was talking about my personality but whatever!

**Richard**: Well, you need to talk to him to let him get a feel of your personality.

**Haleigh**: True...

**Christoph**: Did you know that in the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees? [eats a handful of chips]

**Lauren**: [snorts] What the fuck, that was random. [grabs another handful and starts picking apart the chips in her palm]

**Christoph**: I bought this book full of fun facts.

**Lauren**: Oh goody, tell me more.

**Christoph**: Gut...hmm...Did you know that the average American drinks about 600 sodas a year?

**Flake**:[ silently from across the room] Nicht berrascht.

**Lauren**: SILENCE FLOCKA. [Back to Christoph] Oh, go on...

_Paul chuckles from across the room._

**Christoph**: [grabs another handful of chips] Chewing gum while peeling onions ...[munch] ...will keep you from crying.

**Lauren**: [gasp] No way!

**Christoph**: Ja way.

**Richard**: You should not be afraid of expressing your feelings to Till. He himself is full of feelings.

**Haleigh**: ...well yeah, aren't we all?

**Richard**: He is sensitive. That's vat I mean.

**Haleigh**: [sigh] But...but, he should be the one to ask me out you know? I am a respectable lady!

**Richard**: [laughs] Talk to him!

**Haleigh**: When?

**Richard**: When he is alone.

**Haleigh**: awwwwww, that is like...NEVER!

**Christoph**: The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in early 1900s!

**Lauren**: What! That girl started so young!

**Christoph**: ..._Vat?_

**Lauren**: [smirks] Nothing, tell me more.

**Christoph**: Okay, An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.

**Lauren**:...That's _so sad!_

**Till**: [stops singing and stares through the glass] War das gut?

**Paul**: [presses a button on the mixing table] That was perfect Till, do you want to continue?

**Till**: Nein, I'll take a break.

**Ollie**: [Grabbing a seat next to Lauren] Chips?

**Lauren**: [offering the bag] Yeah, here.

**Haleigh**: [squirming in her seat] ...Oh, Till is going to take a break!

**Richard**: Then go and talk to him!

**Haleigh**: Out of the years I've known him I've never had a _decent_ conversation with him...

**Richard**: What about that day last week by the pool?

**Haleigh**: We were wasted and I can barely remember it.

**Richard**: Oh. [awkward smile]

**Christoph**: If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long. [takes a swig from nearly-abandoned beer]

**Lauren**: I friggin love slinkys. I used to dance with them down the stairs.

**Ollie**: I have never seen a slinky in person.

**Lauren**: [gasp] Really? They were the shit.

**Christoph**: Newborn babies are given to the wrong mother in the hospital 12 times a day worldwide.

**Ollie**: Really? [in complete awe]

**Lauren**: [shocked] ...holy crap. I could be the daughter of completely different people!

**Christoph**: _Ja_, you could be from Mexico or Canada.

**Lauren**: I am ...half hispanic.

**Christoph**:...really?

**Lauren**: How long have I known you for?

**Christoph**: [lopsided smile] ...A couple of years. [scratches the back of his neck]

**Lauren**: ...I am half hispanic and half Irish. [pats Christophs head with the palm of her hand and shakes her head while tsking]

**Ollie**: Ich bin so glücklich... [grins devilishly while grabbing a handful of chips]

_Paul and Flake make there way to the fold-out chairs and Till exits the recording room with a satisified look on his face. Paul grabs a hold of the small and rounded coffee table and drags it towards the center and everyone adjusts their seats to circle the table. There is a suddenly a great deal of awkwardness as Haleigh and Richard silence themselves from their rather private conversation ,and Flake stares from across the table to Lauren._

**Lauren**: [ Shaky laugh] ...so, you did great Till! Your vocals were vicious enough.

**Till**: Danke!

**Paul**: How many songs are you recording today?

**Till**: [holds up five fingers] I'll do five more.

_Richard pulls out a pack of cigarettes and pulls a cigarette out for himself and places it between his lips. He lights up and then holds the pack up for grabs. _

**Richard**: [to the girls] Want one?

**Haleigh**: [gags] Ahg! no.

**Lauren**: I'd like to keep the ten extra years, actually. But, thank you.

_Richard snorted and tossed the pack to Tills open and waiting hands._

**Haleigh**: erm...[stares at Till as he lights himself a cigarette] ...You know what? I'll try one. I've never had a cigarette before.

**Everyone aside from Lauren**: What?

_Lauren elbows Richard and giggles, and he elbows her back knowingly._

**Till**: [tosses the pack to Haleigh] Here you go. [watches Haleigh tuck the cig between her lips and he lights it up for her]

**Haleigh**: [eyes sparkle] Thank you , Till!

_Everyone watches as Haleigh takes her first drag off the cigarette. At first, she is rather indifferent and then it is as if her eyes are about to pop out of her skull as she lets out a hacking cough._ _She passes the cigarette over to Paul who is bent over laughing_ _and she waves away the smoke rising out of her mouth._

**Haleigh**: _THAT IS REVOLTING_. I can already feel my lungs barbecuing!

[Lauren bends over and starts dying of laughter as well]

**Lauren**: Good job, you have depleted a couple minutes of your life. [claps]

_Everyone joins in on the applause._

**Flake**: [lifts up bag of Ruffles and peers inside] Scheiss! , it is empty.

**Haleigh**: Hey Till, do you want a beer?

**Till**: Ja, danke.

_Haleigh gets out of her seat and leaves the rec room for a beer._

**Paul**: ...-vat about me?

**Lauren**: You kiddin? Her mind right now is all on [mimics Haleighs dreamy expression] Till...

**Richard**: Lauren. [elbows] Ehem.

_Lauren looks up at Till who is staring her down with a cigarette between his fingers and an eyebrow arched._

**Lauren**: Oh.


	3. Script form: A game of Mau Mau anyone?

A/N: The card game Mau Mau is actually a real game. Look it up. It is a very entertaining game to help pass the time. Also, each time something is underlined that is a rule being placed/said.

**Part Three**: A game of Mau-Mau anyone?

_A couple months later for a show ...Lauren and Haleigh are backstage playing a european card name by the name of Mau-Mau. Of course there are some naughty rules thrown in ...like everytime one of them gets a penalty it involves a shot of Jagermeister. All the can be heard is the sound of Buck Dich being played live on stage, slightly muffled due to all of the mechanics and walls backstage._

**Lauren**: [puts down a 9 of diamonds] Flockas creepy.

**Haleigh**: [Puts down a ace of diamonds] Ace of diamonds...Till.

**Lauren**: [snorts] That's cute.

**Haleigh**: Clearly not as cute as your disturbing fixation on Flakes well-being. Do you want to strangle him or something?

**Lauren**: Well, he hates America and he wanted to be a surgeon. ...And he looks like one of those serial killer types.

**Haleigh**: [giggles] Oh wow. You are terrified of him!

**Lauren**: And what the hell is with all of that looney bin dancing on stage? Like, seriously?

**Haleigh**: It's for show! They aren't supposed to be all glamorous and angelic on stage , woman! [puts down a 8 of diamonds] Flockas creepy.

_Ein Zweibeiner auf allen führe ihn Passgang den Flur bin enttäuscht._

**Lauren**: Just look out...[concentrates on her deck] ...you never know when he'll swoop in with his scalpel while doing that fuckin` squirmy jig of his.

**Haleigh**: My God, you are the hater of all haters.

**Lauren**: [puts down an 8 of hearts] Pauls golden mullet. But, seriously. That is some _Auschwitz_-scary shit.

**Haleigh**: _shhhh_ do not speak of such disturbances! [puts down an 9 of hearts] Pauls golden mullet. 

_Jetzt kommt er rückwärts mir bleibt am Strumpfband bin enttäuscht total enttäuscht_

_Bück Gesicht interessiert mich nicht._

**Haleigh**: Holy shit, Till sounds like a fucking God!

**Lauren**: [Puts down an ace of hearts] Yeah, he sounds incredible. But come on, can't you hear how hot those guitars are?

**Haleigh**: [quickly tosses a card to Lauren] Penalty for not saying Ace of hearts and Till.

**Lauren**: [grabs the shot glass] fuck my life! [throws it back and then slams the glass back onto the table] I was too busy listening to the music.

**Haleigh:** ah yeah, that keyboard sounds amazing.

**Lauren**: [eyes go to slits] ...Quiet you.

**Haleigh:** [giggles and places down a 3 of hearts] Pauls golden mullet.

_Der Zweibeiner hat sich gebü ein gutes Licht gerü ich ihm was man machen ich fang zu weinen an._

**Haleigh**: [listening to the music with a pleased expression] Oh my god...my body is just..._ready._

**Lauren**: Do you even know what this song is about...?

**Haleigh**: [glances at Lauren while assessing her deck] No, not really.

**Lauren**: ...Ah. Nevermind.

**Haleigh**: I'll figure it out later.

**Lauren**: Yeah, you do that. [smirks and places down a 3 of diamonds] Flockas creepy.

_Der Zweifuß stammelt ein Angst weil es mir schlechter sich tiefer noch zu büänen laufen hoch den Rücken.Bück dich._

**Haleigh**: ...So Till and I exchanged some words and for some reason it was super awkward. I was just being friendly and he was eyeing me weird.

**Lauren**: ...Huh. That's strange. [eyes Haleigh just above her deck of cards]

**Haleigh**: ...Yeah. He was in the kitchen last night and I asked him how he was and he just shrugged. Usually he would say something you know?

**Lauren**: Maybe he was having a rough night. [eyes glance away quickly]

**Haleigh**: ...Yeah, maybe. [puts down a 3 of clubs] Richards ass. God, I can't believe you would come up with this rule.

**Lauren**: Mmmm...Reesh's ass is just too fine. Don't tell him I said this okay?

**Haleigh**: Okay. You are keeping my Till-crush secret in check...so I shall keep your Richards-ass crush in check. [giggles and shakes her head]

**Lauren**: [clears throat] ...Um, yeah I am. [puts down a 5 of clubs] Richards ass.

_Bück dich befehl ich dein Antlitz ab von Gesicht ist mir egal.bück dich nocheinmal.Bück dich._

**Haleigh**: ...so do you and Doom have a thing for each other or something?

**Lauren**: ...What do you mean?

**Haleigh**: Hm...gee, I don't know. You guys are around each other all of the time and you guys get all close and shit. It's really cute. I approve. [gives a playful thumbs up]

_Wir teilen Zimmer und das üderlein komm und sei so üderlein komm fass mich ganz dicht an mich heran._

**Lauren**: Fuck Yeah! I love this song! [stares at Haleigh] Hey, it's your turn. ¡rápido!

**Haleigh**: Don't change the subject! Tell me_ your life. _[puts down a 5 of spades and screams, "FLOCKA HAS AIDS!" at the top of her lungs]

**Lauren**: [sighs and gives Haleigh a card] Penalty for not saying 5 of spades before saying Flocka has aids.

**Haleigh**: Oh ...fuh- [throws back her shot] - Now, [belch] `scuse me. Now, tell me your _inner-most feelings_.

**Lauren**: I don't like Schneider in that way. I really, really don't.

**Haleigh**: Oh come on. You are surrounded by some hot rockstar's, you've got to adore at least one of them.

**Lauren**: They're our friends.

**Haleigh**: ...And? Doesn't that just make it a whole lot sweeter?

**Lauren**: ...Maybe.

**Haleigh**: Maybe! Ha! Who do you like?

**Lauren**: [shakes head] I'm not telling you shit. [grins and puts down a 4 of spades] 4 of spades and FLOCKA HAS AIDS!

_Vor dem Bett ein schwarzes hinein fällt jedes schon zu alt und zähl sie ich find keinen Nabel im Geä schon ein weißer üderlein komm halt dich schüttel mir das Laub vom Baum._

**Haleigh**: But I'm your best friend! It is one of the laws of being a best friend. You have to tell me absolutely everything! [points an accusing finger at Lauren while holding her deck in the other hand. She places down a 4 of diamonds.] Flockas creepy.

**Lauren**: I do like someone in the band but I'll tell you one thing ...[leans forward and whispers] it is _not_ Christoph Schneider.

_Spiel ein Spiel mit mir.__gib mir deine Hand und.__spiel mit mir_  
><em>ein Spiel.<em>_spiel mit mir .__ein Spiel.__spiel mit mir_  
><em>weil wir alleine sind.<em>_spiel mit mir.__ein Spiel.__Vater Mutter Kind._

**Haleigh**: [ Her blue eyes go wide in excitement] ...you have to tell me. I will _DIE_ if you don't tell me!

**Lauren**: Isn't that a bit extreme?

**Haleigh**: Not when I'm your best friend.

**Lauren**: True. [puts down a queen of diamonds] Ollie is a royal arse!

**Haleigh**: [is completely flabbergasted] What the hell, when did that rule get put in?

**Lauren**: It's been in the game since you last lost.

**Haleigh**: Oh, whatever. Just tell me who you fancy! [bounces in her seat in excitement]

_Dem Brüderlein schmerzt die dreht sich wieder an die Wand._  
><em>der Bruder hilft mir dann und ich schlafen kann.<em>

**Lauren**: How about, if you win this round than I'll tell you?

**Haleigh**:...But you're so good at this game!

**Lauren**: I've got 4 cards left, what do you have?

**Haleigh**: I've got 3!

**Lauren**: It's all about the luck of the Irish then!

**Haleigh**: But I've got no Irish in me!

**Lauren**: Oh, right. That's me! [cackles triumphantly and looks through her deck of cards for strategy]

**Haleigh**: ..._Yeah_, and Flake is the evil one! Look at you being all _maniacle_! [puts down a Queen of clubs] Ollie is a royal arse! [She winces because she is afraid of being penalized]

**Lauren**: Well, hopefully you win or you shall never _know my life._ [puts down a 6 of clubs] Richards ass.

**Haleigh**: [sighs in relief] Oh thank god...I thought I was going to get myself a new card.

_Spiel ein mir deine Hand mit mir._  
><em>ein mit mit wir alleine sind.<em>  
><em>spiel mit Mutter Kind<em>.

**Lauren**: [stares at her cards]...You need to seriously get with Till already.

**Haleigh**: I can't.

**Lauren**: ...Why not?

**Haleigh**: He will misinterpret my oggling for an attempt at a fling. I'm not one of those nasty groupies that follow the guys backstage you know?

**Lauren**: Oh hell yeah, I know that. [looks up from her cards] But you've been around for so long and haven't slept with any of them [shifts eyes] ...well that I know of anyway. But, he wouldn't interpret you as a one-night thing.

_Du auf dem zum Töten keiner hier weiß.von meiner Einsamkeit._

_Rote Striemen auf weißer tu dir du jammerst laut._

**Haleigh**: First of all, I have never slept with any of them. And second, I really want Till to like me...It's driving me _LOCO! _[places down a 6 of spades] 6 of spades...FLOCKA HAS AIDS! FINAL CARD!

**Lauren**: Calm down white girl! ...oh shit. You are on your final card?

_Jetzt hast du Angst und ich bin schwarzes Blut versaut dir das Kleid._

_Dein weißes Fleisch erregt mich bin doch nur ein weißes Fleisch erleuchtet mich._

**Haleigh**: I'm pretending to be somewhat ethnic!

**Lauren**: [snorts] ...why?

**Haleigh**: TILL _LOVES_ ETHNIC!

**Lauren**: Are you sure about that? `Cause I always see him with these white girls with blonde hair.

**Haleigh**: [gasps and leans far back into chair] HE HAS MANY WHITE GIRLS? [ a look that says _Blasphemy! _is clearly etched onto her face]

**Lauren**: Oh ...uh...no. Of course not! [looks up to the ceiling and smirks]. They are just groupies Haleigh...it doesn't mean they _mean_ anything thing to him. [places down 7 of spades] ...7 of spades...Flocka has aids.

_Mein schwarzes Blut und dein weißes werd immer geiler von deinem Angstschweiß da auf deiner weißen in mein krankes Gehirn._

_Dein weißes Fleisch erregt mich bin doch nur ein Vater war genau wie weißes Fleisch erleuchtet mich._

**Haleigh**: [sighs] Yeah...I know. [stares at her final card and than at the card in front of her. Her face lights up and...] 10 OF SPADES FLOCKA HAS AIDS! AH! MAU! MAU! I totally win! [slams the card down triumphantly and does a little shimmy in her seat]

_Jetzt hast du Angst und ich bin krankes Dasein nach Erlösung schreit._  
><em>dein weißes Fleisch wird mein meinem Himmel gibt es keinen Gott.<em>

_Dein weißes Fleisch erregt mich bin doch nur ein Gigolo._  
><em>dein weißes Fleisch erleuchtet Vater war genau wie ich.<em>  
><em>dein weißes Fleisch erregt mich bin ein trauriger Gigolo.<em>  
><em>dein weißes Fleisch erleuchtet mich<em>

**Lauren**: ...Wow. I can not believe you won! [drops her last cards on the table and slams her fist just after] I declare a rematch!

**Haleigh**: NOPE. I won fair and square and now you have to tell me your crush! [leans forward in seat with her eyes basically sparkling in satisfaction as well as wild anticipation.]

_Just as Lauren is about to spill her guts, the backstage door busts open and a chill sweeps through the room. Both of the girls notice that the instruments are still playing but are being played with a new addition of notes to prolong the experience. Both of the girls look up from their seats and watch in shock as Till storms on through and as he passes he kicks down an abandoned chair in blatant frustration. He is completely oblivious of the two girls and starts trashing some of the equipment backstage._

**Till**: Diese stück shits!

**Haleigh**: _Oh_ shit...

**Lauren**: Not good...[takes a shot of Jager and leans back in her chair]

**Till**: Scheiss! Scheiss! Scheiss! [Till-hammers the shit out of the wall]

**Lauren**: Oh damn, look at those muscles flex. [bites on closed fist]

**Haleigh**: Oh my god...I know.

**Lauren**: We are such creeps.

**Haleigh**: Officially , yes.

**Till**: Dies ist fucking Blödsinn! [storms back to the door and adjusts himself. He looks to the girls at the table-] Are my clothes still on?

**Haleigh**: Uh...um...yes.?

**Lauren**: [grins] Yeah.

**Till**: Okay, gut. [storms out of the room and returns to the stage]

**Haleigh**: [tries to compose herself] ...Wait what? Does he usually lose his clothes during his fits or something?

**Lauren**: Yeah, totally. He's apparently the Hulk.

**Haleigh**: _OH MY GOD._ THAT WAS SO _MANLY!_ [squeals in her seat]

_30 minutes later...the band members are walking backstage covered in sweat from the pyrotechnics._

**Christoph**: Ah! Give me a hug! [lifts Lauren off her feet and twirls her around before putting her back on the ground]

**Haleigh**: [eyes Lauren with suspiscion and then her eyes go wide. She suddenly recalls that she was supposed to find out Lauren's secret crush] DAMMIT!

**Paul**: -Vat? Why dammit?

**Haleigh**: Uhg...nothing. I'm so frustrated.

_As if right on cue , Till storms backstage and leaves the room to go sulk._

**Richard**: Till's fiery shoe effects didn't work on stage so he just looked like a circus clown doing flips on the floor.

**Lauren**: Oh...shit. That sucks! [crosses her arm and shakes her head]

**Ollie**: Ja, and now he's going to be angry all night and all day.

**Richard**: [grabs the Jagermeister off the table and takes a long drink from it] Aha! Let's get drunk! [puts an arm around Lauren's shoulders]

**Haleigh**: [gives Lauren a knowing glance and points at Richard curiously. She mouths out: _is it him?]_

**Lauren**: [looks at Haleigh with a smile and nods before slinging her arm around Richards waist] Let us drink!


End file.
